Self-compassion was a concept that eluded me for years. I had spent so much time internalizing the label of “crazy” that I lost sight of my worth as a human being. After my diagnosis and a suicide attempt, I was left feeling broken and unworthy. The word “crazy” echoed in my mind, drowning out any sense of self-love or acceptance. It wasn't until I began to explore the notion of self-compassion that I started to find my footing.
The road to self-compassion is not an easy one, especially when compounded by trauma. I had to confront the harsh realities of my past, which included not only my mental health struggles but also layers of trauma that weighed heavily on me. These experiences shaped my perceptions and added complexity to my healing process. I realized that my struggles did not define me; they were merely a part of my story.
One of the first steps I took was to practice mindfulness. I learned to sit with my thoughts and feelings, allowing myself to feel pain and discomfort without judgment. This practice helped me cultivate an understanding that it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to feel lost and confused. In fact, it’s a part of being human. This realization was liberating; it gave me permission to be imperfect.
A pivotal aspect of my transformation was working with a counselor who helped me navigate the complexities of my mental health and the trauma I had endured. Without my counselor, I would never be where I am today. Therapy provided a safe space for me to explore my thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment. I learned that finding the right therapist may require some trial and error; you might have to “date” a few before you find the one that resonates with you. But once you do, the bond can be transformative.
Through therapy, I began to challenge the negative self-talk that plagued me. I replaced “I am crazy” with “I am human.” I started to celebrate my achievements, no matter how small, and recognized that each step forward was a victory worth acknowledging. Over time, I learned that self-compassion is not about being self-indulgent or complacent; it’s about being kind to ourselves in moments of struggle.
As I navigated this path, I also learned to forgive myself for my past decisions and the trauma I had experienced. I realized that the mistakes I made were steppingstones to growth, not anchors holding me back. Embracing my flaws became a source of strength. I could finally look in the mirror and see not just the scars of my past but the beauty of resilience and growth.
Ultimately, self-compassion has become a powerful tool in my healing process. It has allowed me to accept myself fully, flaws and all. I have learned to extend the same kindness to myself that I would offer a friend in need. By embracing my imperfections, I have begun to cultivate a sense of peace and acceptance that was once foreign to me.
As you seek self-compassion, remember that it’s a process. Be gentle with yourself. Allow space for growth and healing. We are all deserving of love and acceptance, and it begins from within. Embrace your flaws; they are part of your unique story.
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